About

The Rebuilt Woman

About Traci

I walked through 46 years of life wearing a veil I didn’t even know existed. It covered my eyes causing me to look at everything through it. It clouded my judgment, my relationships, my job, and my perception of myself and of the world. It was a veil I never asked for. A garment I never purchased or picked out for myself. It was placed on me without my permission. It was childhood sexual and emotional abuse.

Just by virtue of the fact that the word childhood is in the phrase, you’d think that means when childhood ends, childhood abuse would no longer be a part of my life. At least that’s what I tried to tell myself. Once I became an adult, I deeply believed that I had left it all behind me. I believed I showed no signs of growing up with an alcoholic father, or years of sexual abuse by another relative. The thing is, my brain never forgot.

I chose to become a single mother by using an anonymous donor. To the world, that made me brave. I plowed through life getting one degree after another while working full-time and raising my kids by myself. To the world? Fiercely independent!

I was so busy with kids, work, school and volunteering that I never had time to socialize outside of those things. She’s just too busy to have fun! Oh, how about that time my femur broke after running four ½ marathons in four months? So strong! (I got a lot of nice bling, though! Including the three screws surgically placed in my leg to hold it together.)

OR, THERE’S THE TRUTH …

Childhood abuse happens in childhood, but its effects can last a lifetime. Crossing the threshold of your 18th birthday or getting your first, second, or third degree, or having kids, or living an adult life doesn’t undo the damage. Sure, to the world, I was brave, independent, busy, and strong, but inside I was a mess and dying more each day. My “bravery” in having kids using an anonymous donor was my way of making my dream of being a mother come true without having to actually be in a relationship. My “fierce independence” was a pathological need to never depend on anyone for anything because no one could be trusted, and even if they could, I felt I was too worthless for anyone to waste their time helping me. “Too busy?” More like a need to be socially isolated, because I knew I had a flashing red neon “worthless” sign over my head that the world would see if they got too close to me. And strong? HA! My bone broke because I had caused it to become far too weak through over-exercising and my constant striving for perfection.

When I was 46, events in my life created the perfect storm that caused my life-long complex PTSD to become completely unmanageable. It stopped me dead in my tracks and made me finally realize I had to face what I had tried so hard to leave behind for so many years. I started working with a trauma-informed therapist and finally began the journey that would remove the veil I never asked for. As my complex PTSD got worse and flashbacks became out of control, I made the very poor decision to try to permanently end my pain.  Thankfully, I was not successful and after that night, I knew I had to commit myself to not letting events from decades ago continue to run my life today. For my kids, myself, and for the little girl I was back then, I had to find a way. I had to rebuild the parts of me that were tarnished by my past, so the real me could finally be authentic and free. Yes, my childhood is part of my story, but it doesn’t have to define who I am, and whatever may have happened in your past that has changed parts of you, it doesn’t have to define you either. This life is ours to claim. Sure, we may have to rebuild who we are, but just like a box of thousands of Legos, the possibilities of what you can build are endless. You just have to start building.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO YOU

 Every journey begins with a single step, and I found mine in a place of frustration and longing for change. Faced with the heartbreaking reality of insufficient mental health support for adult survivors of traumatic and emotional wounds, I embarked on a mission to fill that void with compassion, understanding, and evidence-based care.

My purpose is clear: to be a beacon of hope for those who feel lost in the shadows of their past. I’ve devoted myself to continual learning, delving deep into the realms of anxiety, depression, and the enduring scars of trauma. You may feel shattered, but I know you have the potential within you to rebuild stronger and empowered in a life in which you become your own best friend.

In my practice, I don’t just treat symptoms; I facilitate true healing from the inside out. Drawing from the latest research and a holistic approaches to wellness, I guide you on a journey of mind, body, and spirit. As a board cetrified psychiatric/mental health nurse practitioner and Certified Trauma Treatment Specialist, I bring a toolbox filled with powerful techniques like hypnotherapy, EMDR, ego state therapy and Somatic Experiencing, tailored to your unique needs.

Whether you’re taking your first tentative steps or feeling trapped and stuck, know that you’re not alone. There is hope, and there is healing waiting to unfold. Reach out to me, and let’s embark on this journey together. Your initial consultation is free and confidential because I understand the courage it takes to ask for help.

Contact me to take that first step. Embrace the possibility of a life reclaimed, where authenticity reigns, and inner peace becomes your guiding light. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by reaching out. Let’s make your dreams of healing, happiness and wholeness a reality.